Mason, My heart.

Mason, You completely changed my life when you came into this world. You made me a mom. You made me a stay at home mom. No more deadlines, no more promotions, no more paychecks. 

You became my identity. 

Today was your last day of Mother's Day Out. ever.

That's a big sentence. 

At the end of August you will walk thru the doors of a private school, attend pre school, still two days a week, thank God. You are so excited about your new adventure and have several friends from school attending as well. This morning was a hard one though honey. I think you sensed my heart holding onto you, as you were sweeter than usual and I noticed every single little thing about you. Today you got out of the car not complaining and gave me big hugs in the parking lot. Today you ran down the sidewalk like always to push the handicap door button. Today it didn't bother me. Today I enjoyed watching you run. Today you ran thru the church, just like always, and waited for us at the end of the hall and just like always Sutton was right behind you trying to keep up. Today you held the door open for others and used your manners and you dropped off Sutton in his classroom sweetly and showed him where to put his backpack. When we got to your class, It was starting to sink in of all these "lasts" I was watching you in and I couldn't let go very easily. You hugged me, you hugged me a bit longer, and would have continued if allowed. You weren't in a hurry to play and I wasn't in a hurry to say good bye. We did a few puzzles together and finally it was time to leave you. Today was the last real day I can walk you to your classroom like this. At Hillander there is a drive thru in which I'll hug you shortly in the car and be on my way. Today I enjoyed making sure you were settled and smiling before leaving you. I wasn't in a hurry to make it to the store and do my errands. Today was the last day for a few years probably that you and Sutton will be under the same rough for school. I like the comfort of knowing you are together to watch out for each other and see each other through out the day. Sutton doesn't realize it but today was a day for him to become his own identity too. He's not going to be Mason's brother in school for awhile now. After school you were so thrilled to show me all of your art work from the summer. We sat at the kitchen table and talked about each piece and then decided which to hang in the kitchen. 

So today, this mama is gazing at you thru tear filled eyes happy you are growing up into a sweet smart boy, but cherishing each little moment and second you are with me. I don't want you in full time school in a year. I don't want to be without you.

You are who I am. I love you.