The Crappy Mom feeling

Somedays you just feel like a crappy mom. Mason doesn't nap. ever. at least it feels that way to me most days. When he does usually nap, it's not until very late in the day, 4 oclock or so and it's after what feels like hours of fighting and trying to soothe him, wear him out, anything to get him to sleep. Today is one of those days. And 4 out of 5 days of the week, is one of those days. It's completely exhausting to me and it makes me feel like the worst mom ever that I don't know how or what to do to get him to rest. I only feel like this because when Ryon is around he is a completely different child. Ryon can walk in there, lay him down and he'll sleep for three hours. With me, we usually fight for three hours for a one hour nap. It's not fair if you ask me. He destroys his room. Meaning he pulls the changing pad down, he pulls all the wipes out of his holder, now he's found his powder basket so that's being thrown around the room. I just found a shirt that was in the diaper genie, trying to be pushed in. When we are out, and I say to hold my hand, he won't. He'd rather throw a huge fit on the floor than be told no by me. And he's getting so strong and my stupid stomach is so big now that I can't even begin to control him when I'm holding him and he's mad. I get kicked quite often, I'm sure that's great for the baby. I feel like I yell and scream and tell him no all day long somedays. And I feel like when Ryon is home, he's chill, he eats well, he naps well, everything is just peachy. If I can't even take care and control one child, what am I doing having another? If Ryon were to mention having a second child at this stage, I would have run the other way and put him in an insane asylum for even mentioning it. But no, nine months ago, Mason was actually a prety easy to handle baby, so I said yes! I just pray to God for strength each day and wonder why Mason won't just listen and be good with me. It's starting to get to me.