Confessions of Summer

Is it Mommy Confession time? Summer is hard. It's hard to have three little people staring at you every single day, all day long. They ask for food, entertainment, your attention, endless demands minute after minute, day after day. I've always stayed home with them, so this is nothing new, but at least during the school year a small break twice a week for five hours happens; oh how glorious Mother's Day Out truly is. I have found myself more than once this summer wishing I was the mama who signed her kids up for camp after camp. But the truth is, I'm not that mom. I guess I'd rather hear the endless demands of day to day life than to be running around town dropping off at endless camps and playdates. This is just who I am. We are simple around here. We climb trees and make forts and eat a lot.....oh geez my pantry is empty again!
We have had a great summer together. We have discovered the skate park, gone to dollar movies, endless park fun, backyard baseball, legos, swimming, trips, we have had a blast. But the truth is, is that the afternoons have been hard on me. I'm not sure why, they have just been long. It's hot. We can't do much from the hours of 1-5 outside. Most of all, I think I'm already mourning the coming of a new school year honestly. I'm mourning the fact that Sutton leaves me 5 days a week this year along with Mason. Oh gosh I can't even think about it without crying. My sweet, stubborn, second boy will be entering his new big world. Every single day. Without me and Callahan. I think I'm more sad for Callahan maybe? Oh the bond they share is precious. This past year as I figured out life with a newborn and Mason leaving for school Sutton became my rock in a way. He became my "steady." I counted on him for my friendship and for Callahan's. Oh he's going to do so great. He's meant for big things in this world in the name of God. His faith is unwavering and I can't wait to see God mold his little soul into something amazing. But as we've collected new school clothes and backpacks and new shoes in the last few weeks I think I'm secretly mourning inside. I guess not so secretly now that I'm writing it out in words. The true confession is that mommy can only stay strong for so long. My heart is literally breaking at the thought of what is to come in three very short weeks.
As for summer though, my confession is that these boys are making me crazy. But we've also had a lot of time to love, play and be together so that's all I can really be thankful for right now. To watch the boys go down big ramps and find their courage, to see them transform hundreds of pieces of legos into vehicles is remarkable. To hear that their favorite part of the day was being with me, is pretty special.